DIRTY GRANDPA review

I honestly don’t know what to say about my initial thoughts about the movie. It’s still January and it’s been the headquarters for bad movies all month long and there aren’t many “good” raunchy comedies that exist anyway and cater to the laziest form of joke-telling, so I didn’t have high hopes of it being any good. Honestly, only one real element had me hoping that it wouldn’t be a disaster, and that was PARKS AND REC alum, Aubrey Plaza. I half expected her to be just a cameo, but I was hoping her cameo would be amazing. I’m not generally a Zac Efron fan, but I did have fun with NEIGHBORS. Maybe this was going to be along the same lines of stupid but funny humor. Hard to say, but I was willing to give it a chance. This is my honest review of DIRTY GRANDPA.

(SUMMARY)

After the passing of his grandma, Jason (Zac Efron) is tasked with taking his grandpa (Robert De Niro) on a road trip to Florida to visit an old friend and hang out there for awhile. This comes as a particular surprise since Jason is about to get married to his controlling fiance, Meredith (Julianne Hough). But taking the chance to bond with his grandfather and respect the grieving man’s wishes, he accepts the job. However, almost immediately the morning of departure, Jason finds his grandpa isn’t quite grieving as much as he originally let on and quickly reveals that all he wants to do is get laid by an extremely horny college girl named Lenore (Aubrey Plaza), which causes no end of grief for Jason and so begins a journey of high jinks and mishaps.

(REVIEW)

We got another one, folks! The January Bad Movies Club has another member! Everyone give a big warm welcome to DIRTY GRANDPA!

This is one of the worst movies of the month. Right up there with NORM OF THE NORTH. It is an abhorrent, disgusting film that makes JEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS look like CITIZEN KANE.

It’s basically a spring break movie, but not taking place during spring break. As per usual, there has to be a party full of alcoholism, drug usage and it’s “hilarious” outcomes, and Efron acting like a total moron.

This movie hits every single cliche you can think of. But on top of its lack of originality, this movie makes its way into one of the worst movies I have ever seen thanks to its one pedofile joke. Yes, there is a pedofile joke that takes up an entire scene. Here’s the set-up: Efron’s character wakes up on the beach after taking hard hits of crack. He gets a phone call from his fiance to talk about the wedding. Efron is still pretty much naked, but his dick is being covered by a stuffed bumblebee. An eight, nine-year-old kid walks along and catches sight of Efron and the stuffed bee. The kid obnoxiously insists on petting and playing with it and the for some of the most uncomfortable two minutes of cinematic butchering, we get purposeful shots of this kid trying to take the bumblebee away from Efron as he fights him off. The dad eventually comes along, the bee somehow gets separated from the thong that Efron’s wearing and Efron gets arrested. Where do I even begin with this?! I think the discomfort you’re feeling just from READING this is enough. Who green-lit this scene? Who the hell thought this was something audiences would enjoy?!

If we’re not being bombarded by bodily waste jokes, we’re blessed with the sounds of the unbearably unfunny Jason Mantzoukas as Pam. Oh my god, from the moment he made noise on screen and every subsequent moment he has screen time, I wanted to walk out of the auditorium with how excruciatingly annoying and insulting he is. First of all, all his character does is try and sell drugs… EVERY FUCKING SCENE HE’S IN!!! He doesn’t fucking shut up. Ever. But the worst part is how he takes a sick amount of pride in the ability to sell drugs to kids while in an ice cream-like van. What the fuck is up with this movie and making kids the subject of awful and terrible things?! Where’s the fucking comedy in this?! Don’t even get me started on the only two fucking cops who turn a blind eye to his bullshit. This movie makes me sick.

Yeah, De Niro and Plaza are enjoyable occasionally, but they don’t save the fucking movie.

People were walking out of the movie during the first fifteen minutes, already saying how the comedy is lowbrow. Oh yes, very true. But if they had stuck around for the next fifteen, those people would be hating the movie as much as I and quite a few other critics out there do.

Seriously, check out this quick review by Richard Roeper:

Right up there with you, dude. Tasteless, brutal, insulting.

My honest rating: 1/5

But what did you guys think? Do you agree with my opinion, or did you think it was funny? Please feel free to leave comments of your opinion of the movie.

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