UNFORGETTABLE review

Oh my god… another one? Is there really a demand for movies like this? Is there really a league of picketers that demand at least one of these getting made once a year? And are they saying such sensible things that Hollywood will cave to make them? What the hell?

Well, here’s the cast. Katherine Heigl (THE NUT JOB [2014], KNOCKED UP [2007], TV show DOUBT, and the upcoming THE NUT JOB 2: NUTTY BY NATURE [2017]). It makes sense for her to be in this movie because… well, she’s Katherine Heigl. She’s not been America’s sweetheart for an age what with countless sources claiming that she’s a diva, difficult to work with, and slams movies that she’s been in. She’s not the most popular woman in Hollywood these days, so it kind of makes sense to see her in these backwash movies that few give a shit about. I mean, is she a bad actress? I haven’t seen her to be. She’s not the best, but she’s been fine in everything I’ve seen her in. But Rosario Dawson (RATCHET & CLANK [2016], SIN CITY: A DAME TO KILL FOR [2014], TV show IRON FIST, and upcoming TV show THE DEFENDERS [2017] and film CLERKS III, due out… who knows when)? Rosario, no… well… I guess she can be in a shit movie once in awhile and still remind us that she is one of the greatest and most bad-ass actresses working. If you can co-star in THE ADVENTURES OF PLUTO NASH (2002) and come out in a multi television cross over series like DAREDEVIL, JESSICA JONES, LUKE CAGE, all culminating to THE DEFENDERS, I’d say she don’t have a thing to worry about. Finally, Geoff Stuits (J. EDGAR [2011], and TV shows ENLISTED and THE FINDER). I have little to say about him other that I loved him in ENLISTED. In support, we also have Whitney Cummings (THE RIDICULOUS 6 [2015], THE WEDDING RINGER [2015], and TV show WHITNEY), Cheryl Ladd (MILLENNIUM [1989], and TV shows AMERICAN CRIME STORY and the original TV show CHARLIE’S ANGELS), and Isabella Kai Rice (JEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS [2015], and TV shows CASTLE and TRUE BLOOD). 

Now for the crew. Directing is Denise Di Novi, making her feature film debut. Congrats, miss. The writing credits are a little confusing, so I’ll try to cover the meaning of both. Credited for “screenplay” – probably had more of a hand in creating the story of the movie rather than actually sitting down to write it, begging the question why didn’t he get a “story” credit then – is David Leslie Johnson, known for THE CONJURING 2 (2016), WRATH OF THE TITANS (2012), ORPHAN (2009), and upcoming films DUNGEONS & DRAGONS and A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, both due out… who knows when. Credited for “written by” – probably the one who physically sat down and put her fingers to the keyboard – is Christina Hodson, known for SHUT IN (2016). Composing the score is Toby Chu, known for BARBIE: STAR LIGHT ADVENTURE (2016), WOLVES AT THE DOOR (2016), LEGENDS OF OZ (2013), and the upcoming WISH UPON (2017). Finally, the cinematographer is Caleb Deschanel, known for RULES DON’T APPLY (2016), JACK REACHER (2012), and THE PATRIOT (2000).

Overall, it’s going to suck. It has to. How this great cast got roped into it, I’m sure I don’t know. Blackmail. That’s it. Blackmail.

This is my honest opinion of: UNFORGETTABLE

(SUMMARY)

Julia (Rosario Dawson) is a successful woman who is happily in a relationship with David (Geoff Stuits). Moving back to his hometown, they try settling in and she tries to develop a good relationship with his young daughter, Lily (Isabella Kai Rice). But there’s one problem. David’s ex-wife, Tessa (Katherine Heigl) isn’t quite over their relationship and as her obsession with reuniting her family together escalates, she turns to drastic measures to making Julia seem like an unfit person to be around her daughter, her ex-husband, and even framing her for crimes.

(REVIEW)

Yup, called it. But then again, most anyone can look at a movie like this and not be too far off the money. Where shall I begin with this trainwreck?

Let’s get the cardinal sin out of the way, Tessa. I said above that Heigl isn’t a bad actress. To that, I hold. No one’s particularly bad in this movie. At least, not as far as conveying the proper emotions that the scene demands, but the character is written horrendously wrong. First off, from when the movie starts to when it ends, you don’t like Tessa. I know this is sort of the idea, but if you’re going to make a villain that is essentially a monster with no remorse, then you can’t have small scenes that are supposed to make us feel sorry for her. Those scenes don’t work. Why? Because in each and every one of those scenes, she’s got a devilish look on her face and you can’t believe a single word when she says, “Mommy loves you,” or, “I only want what’s best for you.” There’s other scenes where she’s with her mother and she’s no different than Tessa. She’s prim and proper to an obsession; we all know what this is meant to be. It’s meant to show that it isn’t all her fault and that the mother is to blame for how Tessa turned out. Fine, but again, we never see any of this play into her humanity. At least an inkling of regret and remorse when she does something awful and nasty. In fact, the easiest fix would be that the mother is sort of the puppet master and she’s manipulating Tessa into believing that Lily and David are being mistreated by Julia. The punishments Tessa inflicts on Lily when she’s being defiant, all of it, manipulation. And there’s some part of her in the back of her mind that doesn’t want to do it and we see the emotional and mental abuse she’s inflicted on Tessa her entire life. But no. It’s a monster created another monster, so no one can ever truly care about Tessa making the “humanity” scenes either pointless, ineffective, or both.

But one does have to wonder… was this intended to be Heigl’s comeback movie? I mean, really think about it. Heigl herself has a reputation of being a fairly universally hated person to be around with very few actors claiming to say anything positive about her. There are similar things said about her mother, who is also a diva and demands things her way. I mean, I know there was a pair of actresses lined up for the roles of Julia and Tessa before Heigl and Dawson replaced them, but it seems a little too coincidental that Tessa almost seems like a parody of Heigl.

There’s honestly not much to talk about. The script is awful, the actors are certainly trying, but can’t really save the movie, a ton of plot points that make little to no sense, frustratingly stupid characters and their choices, and a sequel bait that no one’s going to bite. Really though, can I really be so mad at this movie? Actually, I’m not. Why? Because I knew this was going to be bad, so I wasn’t insulted by it. The first time you see a movie like this, it’s screaming, “FUCK YOU” at you, but the more you see these flicks, the insults get watered down to, “YOU’RE A DOODIE FACE!!!” I’m not insulted anymore. I’m just bored, waiting for it to tire itself out so I can move on with my day. No, I don’t recommend it, either in theaters or as a rental. Skip it entirely. It’s not worth your time.

My honest rating for UNFORGETTABLE: 2/5

unforgettable

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