SNATCHED review

*Groan*

You know, I’m not gonna lie, I’m not the biggest Amy Schumer fan. I mean, she’s been funny before in her stand-up, but as anyone who knows me really well knows, I’m not exactly a fan of her brand of raunchy humor. I won’t even necessarily say that she’s insulting in a bad way, she isn’t by any means, but her jokes aren’t that funny to me. She rarely makes me laugh, or even chuckle. I see where her popularity comes from and I don’t blame anyone who likes or loves her work, but I can’t say I’m in the same boat.

Having said that, I looked at this flick and didn’t think too highly of it. I mean, when do I ever when it comes to comedies? I figured it’d just be a comedic take on being kidnapped by drug lords or whatever. I have a feeling it’s going to be a popular watch on Mother’s Day, but I doubted it’d be good. Then I saw the early ratings. RottenTomatoes has this at an eyebrow-cockingly low 39% (as of 5/11/2017), but what staggered the crap out of me throwing me for a damned loop was IMDb’s rating: 2.3/10 (as of 5/11/2017). Ho… ly… shit. That bad? I mean, damn, I figured it wouldn’t be amazing, or even all that good, but… 2.3?? I haven’t seen the movie yet, so I can’t comment on my own opinion, but I can’t find anything in the trailer that would indicate such a low rating. If nothing else, I’m interested in knowing if I agree.

Let’s take a look at the cast. Starring, we have Schumer (TRAINWRECK [2015], SEEKING A FRIEND FOR THE END OF THE WORLD [2012], and TV show INSIDE AMY SCHUMER) and Goldie Hawn (THE BANGER SISTERS [2002], THE FIRST WIVES CLUB [1996], and PRIVATE BENJAMIN [1980]). In support, we have Ike Barinholtz (SUICIDE SQUAD [2016], SISTERS [2015], and TV show THE MINDY PROJECT), Wanda Sykes (ICE AGE: CONTINENTAL DRIFT [2012], MONSTER-IN-LAW [2005], TV show BLACK-ISH, and the upcoming BAD MOM’S CHRISTMAS [2017]), Randall Park (OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY [2016], THE INTERVIEW [2014], and TV show FRESH OFF THE BOAT), and Joan Cusack (POPSTAR [2016], MARTIAN CHILD [2007], TV show A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS, and the upcoming TOY STORY 4 [2019]).

Now for the crew. Directing is Jonathan Levine, known for THE NIGHT BEFORE (2015), WARM BODIES (2013), and THE WACKNESS (2008). Penning the screenplay is Katie Dippold, known for GHOSTBUSTERS (2016), THE HEAT (2013), seven episodes of TV show PARKS AND REC, and slated for the upcoming THE HEAT 2, due out… who knows when. Co-composing the score are Chris Bacon (SOURCE CODE [2011], hilariously credited as Chris P. Bacon in SPACE CHIMPS [2008], and TV show BATES MOTEL), and Theodore Shapiro (WHY HIM? [2016], DANNY COLLINS [2015], JENNIFER’S BODY [2009], and the upcoming CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS: THE FIRST EPIC MOVIE [2017]). Finally, the cinematographer is Florian Ballhaus, known for ALLEGIANT (2016), MARLEY & ME (2008) and DEFINITELY, MAYBE (2008).

Overall, no, I’m not excited for this, but I can’t imagine agreeing this wholeheartedly with these low ratings. But I guess I’m going to find out sooner or later, huh?

This is my honest opinion of: SNATCHED

(SUMMARY)

Emily (Amy Schumer) is about to go on vacation and is beyond excited for it. However, her musician boyfriend Michael (Randall Park) breaks up with her so he can tour with his band. Desperate to find someone to join her, she’s forced to ask her overly-cautious mother Linda (Goldie Hawn) to come with her, who reluctantly agrees. At first, their vacation is enjoyable enough, and Emily even meets a nice and attractive guy named James (Tom Bateman), who takes her out partying. But after taking both Emily and Linda on a drive into the middle nowhere, they are quickly abducted by a local crime lord named Morgado (Óscar Jaenada). They manage to escape and find themselves on the run from him.

(REVIEW)

*Groan* Oh yeah, it’s bad. But… I’m not sure if it’s 3.2/10 bad (as of 5/18/2017).

Alright, so right off the bat, the humor is incredibly forced and almost doesn’t even make sense. The opening scene is Emily in a store, presumably shopping for herself for an upcoming vacation right. And she’s talking to another woman, presumably a friend of hers. But then a few seconds later, we’re privy to the truth. She’s at work, not attempting to make sales at the clothing store she works in, is about to go on this vacation that she never requested time off for, and gets fired. Here’s the observation in that first five to ten minutes: I see the set-up, I understand the punchline, but it’s not funny. Let’s break down the joke because, yes, comedy, good and bad, should be analyzed. Emily got fired from her job for being a shit employee, right? But then she’s all like, “No, please, I really need this job.” Well, shit, what kind of reaction did she think she was going to get by doing the things she was doing in front of her boss? She and the guest were talking like they knew each other, but I think any normal person would turn around and get away from some crazy employee oversharing their personal shit. Why didn’t Emily ask for time off from work? Most jobs permit you to request time off, provided you notify your manager within a reasonable amount of time. Even if you work those jobs that don’t, just get someone to cover your shifts. This really shouldn’t have been a hard thing to think through for Emily. None of her actions suggest that she “really needs this job,” so why make a big deal out of it?

That’s the entirety of this movie: structured jokes that have no punch. Even if you did laugh, you’re face-palming yourself thinking, “Jesus, girl, you are trying way too hard.” Some jokes think that they’re so funny, they’re repeated over the course of the story. Take Barinholtz’s character, Jeffrey, Emily’s brother. His shtick is calling his mom “Muh-ma” over and over. There’s no rhyme or reason to it, but that’s something that he does nearly every time he’s on screen and it gets old in the scene it was introduced in.

I suppose if I had to pick any moments where I wasn’t bored with the humor, I did enjoy Jeffrey interacting with the government official dude over the phone. I suppose their banter was a little funny. I also didn’t hate Joan Cusack, who plays a former special ops character without a single line of dialog, but her physicality and expressions are over-the-top, but it’s still pretty humorous seeing her be all hardcore despite spending the movie in a sundress. But then again, how can you go wrong with lady-Cusack? The Cusack clan’s always known how to act. And you know what, fine, I thought Schumer and Hawn had good chemistry. They never really said anything funny, but they knew how to work off of each other. So there’s that too.

If you were to ask me if I thought this or TRAINWRECK was better, I’d say they’re more or less on par. While TRAINWRECK certainly followed a character that was horridly unlikable and not once did I care about her ending up happy, I couldn’t deny that I enjoyed Brie Larson and Bill Hader’s performances, and I did chuckle at LeBron James and John Cena. This movie isn’t funny, but it makes up for following characters that are at least a little more likable, so it’s really apples and oranges as to which I like better. Honestly, probably this just because of the unlikable factor, but I don’t ever see myself watching this again. It’s a comedy that doesn’t work, and it’s sad that this is Hawn’s first movie since 2002. I don’t recommend this movie. Maybe if you’re a die-hard Schumer fan and know her brand of comedy, then I think you’ll enjoy yourself fine. But as for the rest of us who actually want comedy in our comedies, this is a pass.

My honest rating for SNATCHED: 2/5

snatched

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