THE HOUSE review


For those of you that don’t know, I am not the biggest Will Ferrell fan. Yeah, yeah, I know, everyone and everyone’s mother thinks he’s the Jesus of comedy, but… I disagree. Like, a lot. Very few of his films were actually funny to me, and what few I did like were either not straight comedies, or it was him that I liked the movie for. STRANGER THAN FICTION (2006), THE OTHER GUYS (2010), and GET HARD (2015), and two of those titles I liked more for his co-star than he himself. The main problem I’ve had with a majority of his movies are that they’re all the same and he only ever really plays the same character: a bumbling, socially awkward man who is foul-mouthed, but acts like a screams like a child when in trouble. The repetition is annoying as hell and while I can understand his brand of humor being popular, it’s rarely resonated with me.

But there goes my rant about him. How about this movie? Does it seem to change anything? Nope. Not in my eyes. It looks like it’s more the same, but this time, we have Amy Poehler acting the same way. This is potentially a huge shame because I rather enjoy her. Of course, she was such a comedic genius in the TV show PARKS AND REC and she was instrumental in my love for my favorite film of 2015, INSIDE OUT. This woman has range like no other. Bar none one of the funniest women I’ve watched, and can rip your heart out with her penchant for drama. Ironically, that’s how I feel like Ferrell could be, if he ever went that route, but he never does, and now he’s gotten Poehler latched to him. Damn…

In any case, I’ve ranted yet again, so let’s get to the actual movie. It looks like it’s about this married couple just found out that their beloved daughter just got into her first choice college, but they just found out that they can’t pay her way to go there. In order to make ends meet, they secretly start an underground casino with a shady friend of theirs and of course, things go wrong. It looks pretty by the numbers, and on paper it looks like it could be good, but I ain’t holding my breath.

Well, here’s the cast. Starring, we obviously have Poehler (INSIDE OUT [2015], ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: CHIPWRECKED [2011], and TV show THE MIGHTY B!) and Ferrell (ZOOLANDER 2 [2016], THE LEGO MOVIE [2014], CASA DE MI PADRE [2012], and the upcoming DADDY’S HOME 2 [2017]). In support, we have Ryan Simpkins (A SINGLE MAN [2009] and REVOLUTIONARY ROAD [2008]), Jason Mantzoukas (THE LEGO BATMAN MOVIE [2017], DIRTY GRANDPA [2016], THE DICTATOR [2012], and the upcoming THE DISASTER ARTIST [2017]), Nick Kroll (CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS [2017], LOVING [2016], and TV show THE LEAGUE), Rob Huebel (BAYWATCH [2017], KEANU [2016], and WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE [2013]), and Rory Scovel (DEAN [2017] and TV show GROUND FLOOR).

Now for behind the scenes. Directing and co-writing is Andrew Jay Cohen, making his feature-length feature debut (Congrats, sir), but him and his partner-in-pen, Brendan O’Brien, are both known for writing MIKE AND DAVE NEED WEDDING DATES (2016), NEIGHBORS 2: SORORITY ROW (2016), and NEIGHBORS (2014). Co-composing the score are Andrew Feltstein and John Nau, known for THE BRONZE (2016), ANCHORMAN 2: THE LEGEND CONTINUES (2013), and CASA DE MI PADRE. Finally, the cinematographer is Jas Shelton, known for KEANU, JEFF, WHO LIVES AT HOME (2011), and CYRUS (2010).

Overall, no, I’m not looking forward to this, at all. But I’m hoping that Poehler’s energy and comedic timing will save this movie in some way for me. But… nah, I really doubt it.

This is my honest opinion of: THE HOUSE


Johansen parents Scott (Will Ferrell) and Kate (Amy Poehler) are on the precipice of saying goodbye to their teenage daughter Alex (Ryan Simpkins), who is about to go to her first choice college school. Unfortunately, there’s a snag. The city council once had Alex on a scholarship that would pay her way into the school, but pulled it in favor of a community pool. Devastated, but determined to keep this ball rolling, Scott and Kate attempt to pay Alex’s way themselves, but they don’t have enough money, and after a wild time in Las Vegas with their depressed and near-divorced friend Frank (Jason Mantzoukas), they’re even worse off. But then Frank hatches an idea. Gambling is a ludicrous business and wants to start his own suburban neighborhood underground casino for the bored locals eager to spice up their lives, and possibly to raise enough money to send Alex to college.


Shocking! Another unfunny Ferrell movie. Not his worst, but certainly nowhere near his best.

In fact, my predictions for this movie were so on the nose that I haven’t the slightest idea what to say. There’s only so many times throughout a bad comedy that I can simply not laugh and go into details as to why the joke wasn’t funny. Sometimes something unfunny is just unfunny. Ferrell and Poehler aren’t funny. Nope, Poehler doesn’t save this movie for me. Her energy is there and I want to laugh when she’s on screen, but I can’t. In fact, she’s just as annoying as Ferrell’s character in the flick. All these two do is act like socially awkward people who don’t know how to talk like normal people, but still curse like sailors. It’s… the same role you’ve seen in every other R-rated Ferrell movie, except it’s two fold. If there’s anyone that’s even more unfunny it’s Mantzoukas. Frank is loud, obnoxious, and I’d be surprised if the word “quiet” would even register for his character. My brain felt like a it’d gone to a mental prison and got shanked multiple times by a dozen disgruntled inmates.

That’s nearly the entirety of the movie. It’s one stupid joke after another. Frank playing craps and literally wins dozens of times and the reason why wasn’t because of rigged dice, Scott chopping off the finger of a card counter and instead of doing the sensible thing of getting out of the way of the over-the-top blood squirting, he just sits there taking it into his mouth, Kate taking on the moniker of “the Burner” even though she never burns anyone until the end of the movie, and even then it’s only once, and the many opportunities that Scott and Kate could have taken the money they’ve earned off the gambling and finally pay off their daughter’s tuition for school. This movie should have been an hour long at best and this movie knew it. So to punish us further, they throw in more gimmicks and plot threads, like Scott, Kate, and Frank thinking their big shots and start treating everyone on the streets like shit to maintain a “tough” demeanor, and a mob subplot that’s resolved about as quick as it’s established.

Actually, to be fair, the mob subplot involves Jeremy Renner as the mob boss, which was admittedly hilarious, if only for the fact that Renner is reliably more funny than Ferrell. He’s arguably the best part of this movie and bar-none my favorite. But of course, when he’s gone, the movie goes back to being what it was before his appearance, much to my undying sadness.

Honestly, this is probably a good time to remind y’all that I don’t actually think this is the worst of Ferrell’s movies that I’ve seen. It’s still in the pool of schlock that I’ve come to associate with him, but I can’t deny that there are at least a few funny moments. Early on in the gambling stuff, there’s a sequence of “fight night” amateur boxing when a couple neighbors have it out for each other. The first fight is built up over the course of a couple minutes, hyping the crowd around them, and once the bell rings and they start to fight, one of them gets immediately knocked out with one punch. And there’s another fight between a pair of women who really had it out for each other and their fight is so over-the-top brutal and intense that it’s actually kind of amazing. I admit to laughing at those bits.

And also, this is probably a small reason to be happy with this movie, but I was unbelievably giddy when I saw Michaela Watkins, whom I was a fan of from the criminally short-lived TV show TROPHY WIFE. She was the hippy mom who adopted the asian boy. In this movie, she plays Frank’s wife who is trying to divorce him because he’s got a gambling addiction. I swear, all she does in this movie is show up suddenly, and then storm off out of the movie. I like to think that Watkins wasn’t acting. She was saying her lines, and angrily trying to leave the set, but her contract’s tractor beam kept catching her, pulling her in, and there wasn’t anything she could do about it. Ten points to anyone who knows what I just referenced.

Overall, no. I’m getting a headache just from thinking about this damn movie. I don’t want to be a broken record, so I’ll keep this brief. Unfunny, annoying, a little bit of good stuff preventing it from being a total trainwreck, but I don’t recommend it. Ferrell and Poehler fans will obviously ignore any negativity toward the talent and see it anyway, so if this brand of humor is to your liking, then good for you. As for anyone who likes smart comedy, or comedy that’s just, you know, funny, then this ain’t for you.

My honest rating for THE HOUSE: a weak 3/5




Unlike a lot of kids, I actually never read the books this movie is based on. Can’t exactly explain why. I always had an interest, but I never made the time or any real effort to read them. So, to be completely honest, I have no idea what they were about. I actually assumed it was about a little kid with superpowers who saved older kids from whatever was terrorizing them.

I see that the movie is very different from my preconceptions. It looks like it’s about two kids who are notorious pranksters. One day, they go too far and their mean principal threatens to keep them apart in separate classrooms to prevent their diabolical schemes. Genuinely afraid to be apart, they hypnotize their principal via ridiculously random magic ring into believing that he is the kids’ personal superhero creation, Captain Underpants, who goes around fighting crime and monsters that don’t exist, until a real threat comes along for him to save the day.

I have to admit… I don’t think this looks good. I mean, I can appreciate DreamWorks keeping the animation the same style as the books, but man, I do not buy these voice actors as kids. Even if the movie happens to be really good, which I’m not holding my breath for, Kevin Hart and Thomas Middleditch will distract the living daylights out of me for how much they do not sound like kids. Look, I know Hart is a short dude with a high pitched voice, but he still doesn’t sound like a kid. He sounds like a high-pitched voiced adult. But hey, I’ll keep my mind open. DreamWorks has done amazing work in the past. But for every few great films, they’ve got one bad one too. Initial thoughts are: not a good movie.

But let’s take a look at the voice talent. As previously stated, we have Hart (THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS [2016], GET HARD [2015], GRUDGE MATCH [2013], and upcoming films JUMANJI: WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE [2017] and RIDE ALONG 3, due out… who knows when), Middleditch (THE BRONZE [2016], THE CAMPAIGN [2012], TV show SILICON VALLEY, and the upcoming GODZILLA: KING OF MONSTERS [2019]), as well as Ed Helms (VACATION [2015], THE LORAX [2012], and THE HANGOVER [2009]). In support, we have Nick Kroll (SING [2016], and TV shows THE LEAGUE and PARKS AND REC), Jordan Peele (STORKS [2016], WANDERLUST [2012], and TV show KEY AND PEELE), and Kristen Schaal (THE BOSS [2016], and TV shows BOBS BURGERS and THE LAST MAN ON EARTH).

Now for behind the scenes. Directing is David Soren, known for TURBO (2013). Penning the screenplay is Nicholas Stoller, known for STORKS, MUPPETS MOST WANTED (2014), and THE MUPPETS (2011). Finally, the composer for the score is Theodore Shapiro, known for COLLATERAL BEAUTY (2016), INFINITELY POLAR BEAR (2014), and DIARY OF A WIMPY KID (2010).

Overall, not terribly thrilled to see this, but here’s to hoping it’s better than it’s letting on.

This is my honest opinion of: CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS: THE FIRST EPIC MOVIE


Harold (Thomas Middleditch) and George (Kevin Hart) are a pair of kids who are the best of friends. They make comics together, their favorite creation being the crime-fighting Captain Underpants, and try to have as much fun as possible. This isn’t easy when they’re at school, which is run by their evil principal, Mr. Krupp (Ed Helms). They combat his authority by pulling off pranks. He’s been unable to get them in trouble due to a lack of proof. However, the inevitable happens and the two boys are about to be separated into different classes. In an act of desperation, Harold attempts to hypnotize Krupp using a magical toy ring… and it miraculously works. They turn Krupp into their comic creation Captain Underpants and he gets loose, trying to fight crime with super powers that he doesn’t have.


While I wasn’t wholly wrong about this movie, I’d be lying if I said was completely right. It’s no Kung Fu Panda or How to Train Your Dragon, it’s perfectly fine for what it is: a harmless kids movie.

Because the movie is painfully clear that it’s meant for kids, the humor is exactly that: kiddie humor. So most of the jokes aren’t especially funny. It’s just tolerable. Thankfully, DreamWorks had the foresight not to go all NORM OF THE NORTH (2016), but keeps the humor pretty innocent. I think maybe there was one fart joke that wasn’t too bad, and a surprising lack of potty humor. Instead, the jokes are pretty much what you’d expect them to be. The kids hypnotize their principal into turning into their undergarment clad superhero and laugh at him as any kid would, and the guy acting all goofy. Again, thankfully, it’s written in a way that isn’t annoying. It’s not written funny, for the most part, but it’s not obnoxious.

Even the plot has been kind of done before. Not the superhero bit, of course, but the whole, “We’re fun-loving kids in a school that hates fun and we’re the rebels who want the rest of the kids to have fun too.” MIDDLE SCHOOL (2016) did that and you can argue that FIST FIGHT (2017) did it too to a degree, albeit it’s the teachers struggling to deal with unruly teens. Give the movie some credit, that’s not the focus of the story and they do segue into a more exciting story. But even that’s been done before too: unleashing a goofy adult that young people need to rein in and pretend they’re related, like in JUMANJI (1995). Once again though, it could have been worse.

The movie also does try to have a moral at the end: find something to laugh at yourself about. I can’t lie, I like that moral and it’s pretty unique in a kids movie. The problem is that the rest of the movie doesn’t really back it up. The movie starts off about pranks and learning to lighten up, then it turns into a silly superhero movie, and it’s only at the end where the moral is brought up. But even then, it’s not really enforcing its moral. The kids are still laughing at the teacher’s name and spent a good chunk of time making fun of it in a self-made comic book they made. These kids never make fun of themselves or point out their own flaws. So the moral is completely confused and ultimately pointless.

Is there anything that’s funny? Well, I did like a few jokes in the beginning. You might recall from the trailer when the two kids try to leave their principal’s office only for him to press a button and then a high tech lockdown initiates, preventing their escape. By the end of the dramatic lockdown, George says, “Wow, that’s an expensive door.” But this is followed up with Mr. Krupp smugly saying something like, “Do you like it? I had a choice to spend school funding on a magnetically sealed door, or keep the theater-arts department open. I think I made the better choice.” I admit, I laughed at that. There’s another sequence where, if I remember correctly, Captain Underpants has turned the entire front of the school into an amusement park of sorts and Harold and George are like, “What do we do?! We have to stop this!” A shot of kids having fun goes by and then you see Harold and George going through a sugar rush, clearly enthralled by the festivities at some point. And pretty much anything when Professor Poopypants comes in. Yup, Kroll steals the show on this one. One line that just came back to me was when Poopypants has got these kids in a bind and he’s about to sap their ability to laugh at anything, the kids try to appeal to his good nature by saying something like, “Dude, you gotta lighten up and learn to laugh at yourself,” or something to that effect. And then Poopypants exclaims, “Oh really, Oprah?!” Again, I laughed quite a bit on that one. There’s also this running gag with this lady on hold. That was funny too.

That’s… kind of it, actually. It’s not like a good DreamWorks movie like How to Train Your Dragon where adults could go in without kids and get something out of it. No, you’d want to bring your kids for this one. It’s a movie for them and it works fine for what it’s supposed to do: keep ’em entertained, which it will do effectively. The animation is fine, and fast-paced, so it’s never boring. It’s colorful and competently made, so it’s not completely devoid of imagination. Personally, if you wanted to see a better version of this that both kids and adults would enjoy, LEGO BATMAN (2017) is the way to go. But if your kids are itching to see it, go ahead, it’s harmless and not painful to sit through. But if you’re an adult hit with nostalgia who grew up with the books unlike me, I’d say wait for a rental. It’s not exactly worth a theater viewing. Not bad, not that good, just… meh. I’m not the target demographic, so it is what it is.



LOVING review

I’ve been seeing this trailer every damn where for months. This movie really wants you to know that it exists and like a child that craves attention, it’s one and only trailer is attached to everything. It’s… annoying. But as it is, it doesn’t look bad per se. It does, however, look like any other racially charged romance. I feel like you could watch this trailer and know exactly where the story’s going to go. Well, fair argument, it’s based on a true story (what isn’t these days) and you could spoil the entire movie by reading about it on Wikipedia. I do, however, think it’s a bad sign if you can figure the movie out even if you didn’t know it was based on true events. I know interracial marriages were a shit-storm of controversy some decades ago and this is probably one of the more famous cases, but… I don’t know.

Let’s check out the cast, shall we? Co-starring are Joel Edgerton and Ruth Negga. Edgerton is a rising name and face in film, especially thanks to 2015. He was great in BLACK MASS and his movie THE GIFT, which he wrote, directed, and starred in was probably one of the better films to come out last year. He’s always had a fine career, and it seems like it’s only getting better. I might dare to say that this film looks like it’s perfect for him to show more of his acting chops. I can’t say that I am too familiar with Negga. I don’t watch the TV show PREACHER, and I stopped watching Marvel’s AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D. some time ago. I also don’t remember her role in WARCRAFT (2016), but she looks like she’s going to be alright in this. In supporting roles, we have the amazing Michael Shannon (ELVIS & NIXON [2016], MAN OF STEEL [2013], and TV show BOARDWALK EMPIRE), Marton Csokas (THE EQUALIZER [2014], the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and XXX [2002]), and Nick Kroll (SAUSAGE PARTY [2016], I LOVE YOU, MAN [2009], and TV show PARKS AND RECREATION).

Now for behind the scenes. Writing and directing is Jeff Nichols, known for writing and directing most of his work, which includes MIDNIGHT SPECIAL (2016), MUD (2012), and TAKE SHELTER (2011). Composing the music is David Wingo, known for working with Nichols on MIDNIGHT SPECIAL, MUD, but also did the music for SNOW ANGELS (2007). Finally, the cinematographer is Adam Stone, known for working with Nichols on his movies too, as well as COMPLIANCE (2012).

Overall, I’m pretty indifferent to the story, but I do really like Edgerton, so I’m going to support this film. Hopefully, it’s great, but those trailers really soured my interest. This is my honest opinion of LOVING.


Based on a true story, set in the last 1950’s. Richard Loving (Joel Edgerton) marries Mildred Jeter (Ruth Negga). They have a very good relationship, but that same relationship unfortunately gets them arrested in their home state of Virginia. This is because Richard is a white man and Mildred is a black woman, and it’s illegal to have interracial marriages in the state. Their lawyer gets them off easy by having them plead guilty to their marriage in court under the condition that they leave the state and not return for twenty-five years, taking the two away from their respective families. But as time goes on, an amateur lawyer named Bernie Cohen (Nick Kroll) wants to take their case back to court in the hopes of giving their lives back and change the course of future white and black relationships forever.


I think I’m still processing a lot of the movie, but let’s get down to it.

Edgerton and Negga are both pretty good in this movie. I say “pretty good” mostly because they weren’t given a whole lot to work with. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with their performances. They’re perfect for what they are. But both characters are pretty quiet throughout out the story. I do get the sense that Richard is a big man, but a gentle heart, and wants to take care of her, but that’s about it. I remember even less about Mildred. She’s his wife and she loves him. They love each other.

I think that’s the problem with the movie. There’s no meat to their relationship, but rather the effect it has on everyone around them. They’re in a grocery store being affectionate, a black woman looks upon them with disapproval. Richard’s mother disagrees with their marriage, and of course their initial arrest. There’s not enough of how their relationship affects them. They don’t really talk to each other about how they feel. It’s all just how everyone else feels and that doesn’t feel right.

Is the movie bad for this? Probably not. There is that scene where Richard is telling Mildred, “I can take care of you.” Edgerton’s performance is drenched in vulnerability and conviction. He even gives Richard this dry sense of humor where everything he disapproves of results in him giving this half-assed grunt, which tickles me. Even the scene with Grey Villet (Michael Shannon) watching Richard and Mildred watching TV and he lays on her lap, that’s a genuinely heartwarming moment. But these moments don’t make up the majority of the movie. Because of this, there isn’t enough focus on Richard and Mildred as people, which probably doesn’t do them justice. It doesn’t quite hurt their memory, I don’t think, but it’s just not enough to carry a film about them. Historical relevance is nice and all, but I want to feel for these two. Not a live reenactment of a Wikipedia page.

It’s also entirely possible that this movie got buried in amidst some pretty big movies this week. A superhero movie with trippy visuals, a war film about pacifism, and an animated kids film, it’s easy to overlook this movie. I’m certainly still riding high on the previous viewings, so it’s difficult to detach myself from how big the other films were and bring myself down to a more mellow mind-set and fully engross myself in this story. But I suppose one could argue, if the movie was superb, I would have naturally grounded myself, instead of trying to force it.

I can’t and won’t say that this is a bad movie, but it’s unfortunately pretty forgettable. Maybe worth a single viewing, but a waste of a potentially good story and certainly a waste of solid talent.

My honest rating for LOVING: 3/5


And that’s all she wrote, kids. But fear not! The next coming weeks are going to get interesting and exciting.

Upcoming films: